Calm Decisions Win Negotiations

Calm Decisions Win Negotiations

By Scott Goshorn

People assume the best negotiators are aggressive.

They’re not.

The strongest negotiators are composed.

I’ve negotiated enough deals in Los Angeles to tell you this with certainty: the person who stays calm usually controls the outcome.

Not because they’re cold.
Not because they don’t care.
But because they’re thinking clearly while everyone else is reacting.

And in real estate, reacting is expensive.

Why Emotion Weakens Leverage

Emotion is normal. Real estate is personal.

Buying a home can feel like:

• a fresh start

• a major milestone

• a big risk

• a “now or never” moment
  
  

Selling can feel just as intense — especially when it’s tied to family, transition, or timing.

But here’s the problem:

Emotion makes people predictable.

And predictability weakens leverage.

I’ve seen buyers:

• overpay because they’re afraid to lose

• waive protections they shouldn’t

• negotiate against themselves
  
  

I’ve seen sellers:

• reject strong offers out of pride

• take things personally

• lose momentum by trying to “win” instead of close
  
  

The deal doesn’t fall apart because people care.

It falls apart because people stop thinking.

Calm Thinking Creates Flexibility

Composure creates options.

When you stay calm, you can:

• ask better questions

• read the other side more accurately

• respond strategically instead of emotionally

• hold your position without escalating
  
  

And flexibility is power.

The buyer who can pause has power.
The seller who doesn’t flinch has power.
The person who can stay grounded has power.

Because when you’re calm, you’re not trapped in one outcome.

Knowing When to Push — and When to Pause

A big part of negotiation is timing.

Not market timing — human timing.

Experienced negotiators know:

• when to apply pressure

• when to stay quiet

• when to let the other side sit with the decision

• when to push a point — and when to trade it
  
  

Most people think winning means pushing harder.

In reality, winning usually means:

• pushing at the right moment

• and pausing at the right moment
  
  

That’s where deals get done.

The Hidden Cost of Ego

Ego is one of the most expensive things in real estate.

It shows up as:

• “I’m not giving them that.”

• “They can’t talk to me like that.”

• “I don’t care, I’ll walk.”

• “I want to win this.”
  
  

But here’s the truth:

The goal isn’t to win the conversation.
The goal is to win the outcome.

I’ve watched deals lose tens — sometimes hundreds — of thousands of dollars over ego.

Not because the deal wasn’t possible.
Because someone needed to feel right.

Ego makes you emotional.

Emotion makes you reactive.

Reactive makes you weak.

Control Your Emotions, and You Control the Deal

This is one of the biggest advantages I bring to my clients.

When things get tense — and they always do at some point — I don’t get loud.

I get focused.

Because the moment the deal becomes emotional is usually the moment the other side makes a mistake.

And if we stay composed, we can capitalize on it.

Calm isn’t passive.

Calm is strategic.

Final Thought

Negotiation isn’t about being aggressive.
It’s about being in control.

If you can control your emotions, you can control the deal.

And whether you’re buying or selling, that’s the difference between getting pushed around… and getting the outcome you actually want.

If you’re heading into a negotiation and want someone in your corner who stays sharp under pressure, I’m here.